Your
English Homework this week
You are
to up- level and improve these sentences. Think about the different ways you
can improve them.
Adjectives,
punctuation, WOW words and using a different sentence openers.
Re write these sentences below, make sure they make
sense.
1.) Jenny watched the old lady as she came closer.
2.) I ran back along my street.
3.) The army stood on the hill.
4.) A storm moved over the forest.
5.) Tim climbed up the wall.
Sentences!
ReplyDelete1) Jenny watched the old, uncomfortable lady as she came closer.
2) I ran quickly back along my dirty, crowded, street.
3) The courageous, heroic army stood as still as a statue on the muddy, tremendous hill.
4) A powerful, dangerous storm moved steadily over the largest forest.
5) Tim climbed up carefully on the old, brick wall.
Fariha Chowdhury Y4H
Fantastic Fariha!! Great use of description and adjectives!!
ReplyDeleteMiss Hutton
1)jenny watched the old, unsteady lady as she came closer.
ReplyDelete2) I ran as fast as I could , back to my busy street.
3) the courages army stood on the long , muddy hill.
4)a powerful , dangerous storm moved steadily over to the lagest muddy forest.
5) tim climbed up the sharp steep wall.
Much better Lilly, Remember what we start sentences with?
DeleteMiss Hutton
1. Jenny curiously gazed at the white-haired old lady that slowly strolled along.
ReplyDelete2. Sprinting down the road I was absolutely terrified at the dodgy old man who stared at me.
3. At the top of the hill, proudly, the army stood on parade with boots so shiny and a red and white hackle that slowly swayed side to side in the gentle breeze.
4. Heavily, the storm viciously fought against the strong trees in the deep, dark forest.
5. Nervously, Tim climbed up the 15 foot old, fragile wall.
Fantastic up-levelled sentences Amrit, Well done!
DeleteMiss Hutton
1.Jenny watched the fantastic old lady show as she came closer.
ReplyDelete2.I run fester along the street.
3.At the top of the hill i proudly watched the army fithing along the biggest,giagantic hill.
By TEO 4H.......
4.The, terrified storm attacked the forest .
5.Tim climbed up the massive wall that enybody can"t climbed the massive wall.
Well done Teo, you have added more description here!
DeleteJust check over to see whether they make sense
Miss Hutton
1. Jenny stared at the old, wrinkly lady as she tip toed closer with her wooden walking stick.
ReplyDelete2. I cautiously ran along my back street as i watched a lady going into her house.
3. The soldiers marched at the top of the grassy, steep hill.
4. A thunder cloud hovered across the jungle.
5. Tim clambered over the hard, rock wall.
Soooo much better Naren, Well done!
DeleteGreat words used too
Miss Hutton
1) Jenny stared at the old unsteady lady as she came closer.
ReplyDelete2) I ran through the street a man stared at me slowly.
3) The tall loud army stood on the hill right next to me
4) A powerful dangerous storm move all over the forest.
5) Tim climbed a terribly massive wall that know one can climb.
By sophieya y4h
Good girl Sophieya, so much better!
DeleteMiss Hutton
1) Jenny glared at the poor old lady as she came closer to her.
ReplyDelete2) Using all my energy I sprinted as fast as I could back down my street.
3) The enormous army stood on the gigantic hill with there armour which was blazing in the sun.
4) A terrible thunder storm moved over the gloomy forest.
5) Tim also known as the monkey climbed up the monstrous wall with ease..
by Billy
So much better Billy, Could you use a comma in one of your sentences?
DeleteMiss Hutton
1) Jenny stared at the old, grumpy woman as she came tumbling closer.
ReplyDelete2) I ran as fast as Usain Bolt down the dirty, busy road.
3) As I was learning in school I saw the brave, proud army marching on the top of the hill.
4) One day I was walking from school and a windy, rainy storm attacked me.
5) Shivering Tim climbed up the brick wall and won the shiny, gold medal.
Some great sentence openers Elina, Well done
DeleteMiss Hutton
1) As jenna watched the mysterious, white haired lady as she slowly came closer and coser.
ReplyDelete2) I quickly ran faster and farster down the long, long street.
3) As the great and pwerful army,stood on the hill geting ready for BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4) The visos,mitery stom moved over the gigantic forest.
5) Tim climed up the massive pink and black wall.
Good Faye, much better
DeleteThink about where your capital letters should be though.
Miss Hutton
1) Jenny watched TV when she saw an old suspicious lady coming closer closer and closer.
ReplyDelete2) Yesterday I was walking slowly, suddenly the rain began to pour, I ran back along my street quickly.
3) I was watching the movie and saw the GB army stood on the hill.
4) A dangerous thundery storm moved fast over the dark forest.
5) Tim climbed up over the biggest wall ever in a whole world.
Igne Karaliute
5)
Well done Igne, alot more detail here
DeleteMiss Hutton
1. Jenny watched the old lady with wrinkles on her face and hair as white as poler bears fur, as she crept closer.
ReplyDelete2.I ran as fast as a cheetah back along my street because a huge black dog ran after me.
3.The army stood on top of a enourmous hill with there armour shining in the sun.
4.A heavy storm moved over the dense forest crushing everything in its way to the sea.
5.Tim used all his energy to climb up the rough,tall hill.
Some fantastic words and sentences here Hassan
DeleteWell Done
Miss Hutton
1) Jenny staared aanxiously at the wight haired,wrinkly skined old lady as she came towards Jenny...
ReplyDelete2) I zipped down the bussy street,using all myenergy,since I was being chased by a swarm of animals that escaped from the zoo
3) this great and power ful army of millions of solders stood on the towring hill,ready to fight their war!!!!!!
By Shreya Marri y4h
4) A horrifying storf took over the forest and put most of the lovely animals and creaturs in great danger
5) With a gulp Tim nervously climbed up the towering 17 foot,rainbow coloured rock climbing wall as a chaleng for him self.
By Shreya y4h
Great sentence openers and words used here Shreya
DeleteMiss Hutton
Normal.
ReplyDelete1.) Jenny watched the old lady as she came closer.
2.) I ran back along my street.
3.) The army stood on the hill.
4.) A storm moved over the forest.
5.) Tim climbed up the wall.
Up leveled
(1.) A old wrinkled looking like a 100 aged mammoth of a granny edged slowly closer to the young terrified boy.
(2) Running now for life and death the space ship looked level to me now Iran like a cheetah.....
(3) All I saw were black and silver guns aiming strait at me. Then all of a sudden I realized it was the army 3.. 2.. 1.!
(4) "Zap zap" as the sound of thunder surrounded the misty, murky, forest while I was panting for breath...
(5) Even though Tim was panting for breath he plunged him self up the wall like a orangutang, now satisfied that he was safe..... OR WAS HE.
Some interesting responses here Jacob but much better than before!
DeleteMiss Hutton
1) Jenny watched the old lady walk out angrily.
ReplyDelete2. I was running and my heart was pounding.
3. The army stood like statues on the hill.
4. A storm approached over the forest.
5. Tim climbed up the wall confidently.
Rewritten as first submission deleted.
Great words used here Mikael.
DeleteMiss Hutton
1. Jenni watched joyfully the old radiant lady as she came closer to her beautiful house.
ReplyDelete2. I ran rapidly back along my endless street to get my forgotten lunch box for school!
3. The gigantic army stood on the massive green hill to start fighting the great battle.
4. A lightning and thunder storm moved over the disappearing cut down forest.
5. A tall, happy boy Tim climbed up the wall with his friends in a race.
Vicky Zlatkovsky
Great sentence openers and words used here Vicky
DeleteMiss Hutton
ReplyDelete1.) Jenny watched the old lady as she came closer. jenny watched the luthly lady as she came closer.
2.) I ran back along my street.
I run back the long ;long my street
3.) The army stood on the hill.
the army stood on the hieste hill ethera
4.) A storm moved over the forest.
a laud storm moved over the forest
5.) Tim climbed up the wall. Tim climbed up the pink wall
You have included some good words Libby, Well done
DeleteMiss Hutton
1. Jenny suspiciously stared at the lovely, kind old lady as slowly walked past her gigantic ,beautiful house.
ReplyDelete2.I quickly ran as fast as a cheetah back along my busy street.
3.The brave ,manly army stood straight and tall on the gigantic ,green hill.
4. A lightning ,frightening thunder storm approached over the dark ,lost forest.
5. Tim safely climbed up the high wall confidently.
Well Done
DeleteYou have used some good words!
Miss Hutton
Jenny play in her computer then Jenny saw odd lady came closer and closer.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I went to the bus stop but I missed the bus so run along to the black street to catch the bus.
I was eating my lunch and I saw army stood on the hill.
The thundery storm moved very very fast over the dark scary large forest.
Tim climbed up in the black big wall in the word.
P.Kusenthini.
Well Done
DeleteYou have used some good words!
Miss Hutton
Jenny watched an old lady walking by a park.
ReplyDeleteI ran back with necklaces , new girly presents and beautiful ear rings along my quiet and narrow street.
The good army stood on the peaceful hill to make sure everything is perfect.
An enormous storm passed a wild jungle,the rain caused chaos in the jungle and the animals ran to their habitats.
A brave boy called Tim climbed up a hard wall to rescue a baby bird.
1) Jenny watched curiously at the mysterious, freckled old lady as she came closer and closer.
ReplyDelete2) I was startled by a growling noise and ran back down my street as fast as yohan blake and reached home.
3) The brave army stood on the highest hill watching out for the enemy and ready to attack.
4) A fierce storm devasted the thick forest.
5) Handsome Tim climbed up the dangerous wall.
Better sentence openers Joshua, Well done!
DeleteMiss Hutton
Jenny mysteriously watched the wrinkled and creepy old lady.
ReplyDeleteI zoomed quickly back along my silent street.
The strong, sophisticated and brave army stood on the tall colossal hill
A great, big huge storm rumbled against the enormous, giant forest.
Tim bravely climbed up the lofting wall.